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For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt

So I’m twenty days into a sinus infection and chest cold (along with much of the world out there from what I can tell!). Originally (on day 5) the doctor said it was viral, and I continued to my travel plans to events in Iowa and Alabama the following two weekends. I tried every kind of home-remedy stuff you can think of, hoping to kick it with Emergen-C, Zicam, and various liquids. Instead, it ultimately got worse.

The sinus pressure got so intense it felt like my ears might explode multiple times. After consulting the doctor again three days ago, she finally put me on antibiotics. I’m beginning to feel better, but am still fighting the sinus headache and ear pressure, as well as runny/stuffy nose combination…and just that overall “sick” feeling. Hopefully in a few more days I will see some significant improvement.

Last Sunday morning - while in Alabama and having breakfast in the hotel before leading worship - I remember thinking, “Why do I do this again?” Here I am, a guest at someone’s church - with the goal being that I bring some refreshment to the church community where I have been invited - and yet I’m feeling like I ultimately have nothing at all to give. I found myself in that all-too-familiar place of total desperation, searching for a purpose to what can sometimes feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

In all honesty, I would definitely have liked to curl up in a blanket and sleep the day away, not begin my vocal warm-ups in preparation of rehearsing a band with whom I’ve never played. Nonetheless, I felt I had a job to do, ate as much breakfast as I could muster in my decongestant-hangover-sort-of-state, and cried out for God’s help to face the morning.

To my total relief, the band was great, rehearsal was easy, and the worship set itself went wonderfully during the church service. I found myself in tears during the closing prayer, speaking out the truth we find in 2 Corinthians 12, “Thank you Lord that Your grace is sufficient for us. Your strength is made perfect in our weakness.” In that very moment, for me personally, I felt those words ring more true than ever.

As I took off my guitar and headed towards my seat, I began thinking about some of the things I’d been studying this past week about what it means to be fully human. Whether it’s to have loved and lost, walked through times of both joy and pain, and experienced both laughter and tears, I had considered how it is to go beyond basic animal instincts or physical needs (like food, shelter, or sleep) and to delve deeper through our emotions, words, and intelligent thoughts. It is to appreciate other creatures as more than a means of survival, but to treasure relationships with one another, caring for our fellow man. It is to wonder why we exist, why we’re here, and in turn to ponder the existence of a Being that is greater than ourselves.

But that moment, when I considered what it was to be human, what came to mind immediately was, “to recognize our own weakness, and our need for a Savior.”

So often - especially in the midst of doing what I feel God has called me to do - I find myself faced with various trials, pain, or sickness. If you’ve ever been there, you know that it is often incredibly difficult to persevere in the midst of herniated discs or sinus infections. Yet, I find again and again that God is so faithful to meet me in the midst of my circumstances and provide the grace I need to walk it through. Amazingly, His spirit seems to come even more powerfully in those very moments, in spite of my own absolute lack of anything left to give.

We find Jesus himself, in the Garden of Gethsemane, asking the Father if He really had to walk through the incredible suffering He was about to face, and unfortunately the answer was yes. If Jesus asked that kind of question and prayed that kind of prayer, we can be sure that we will often ask and pray it as well. (1)

However, at the same time, we can find comfort and courage in the fact that God’s Spirit will be present with us every step of the way, empowering us to do what He’s calling us to do. It is that same Spirit that enables us to say, “Not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

N.T. Wright puts it so well when he says, “It is precisely when we are suffering that we can most confidently expect the Spirit to be with us. We don’t seek, or court, suffering or martyrdom. But if and when it comes, in whatever guise, we know that, as Paul says toward the end of his great Spirit-chapter [Romans 8], ‘in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.’” (2)

So be reminded, friends, through sickness, through pain, through loss, through disease, through persecution, through hunger, through sleepless nights, and in those moments when the enemy seems to be surrounding you on all sides - you can MOST CONFIDENTLY EXPECT THE SPIRIT OF GOD TO BE WITH YOU.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinithians 12:9-10, NKJV)

——————- (1) N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006), p. 137. (2) Ibid, p. 138.